Sofia Counseling & Training Services

My friend John has this to say about Self-Worth.

As human beings, we are spirit manifested in form, we are innately worthy. Our worthiness does not have to be strengthened or improved. View full article »

I would like to share with you what I have learned about our threefold nature from my Soul Counsellors, Andrew and Bonnie Schneider of The Soul Journey. Our threeforld nature is composed of a basic trinity: View full article »

Characteristics of the Nine Personality Types According to The Soul Journey E-Book “How To Heal The Personality”

1. Attention Seeker
In different ways you ask others to pay attention to you, to love you, to validate you. You tend to focus on yourself rather than on others. As a result you often don’t see them as they are, and frequently don’t recognize their needs. Your own needs often cloud your perception of the needs of others.
When others don’t meet your needs or demands you can be a fault finder and complainer.
As someone who seeks attention there tends to be a focus on the superficial and external realities and values, rather than inner qualities. This theme holds true in relationships as well where the attention seeker typically feels insufficiently strong emotionally to handle others’ issues and demands.
You might not be a good listener, but people are attracted to you anyway as you may have considerable brilliance or charm. You have a lot of energy, and are always active. However, you can sap other people’s energy.
The attention seeker’s wound is never being loved enough.

2. The Emoter
Emotion is what this type is all about. And motion is what they are in. They act and act out with drama, flamboyance and often exaggeration. These are the ‘drama queens’. There is not much subtlety here. What you see is the way they are. And they want to tell you how they are feeling.
There are different varieties of emoters just as there are different emotions. There are the whiners, yellers, slammers, throwers, abusers and criers, among others. Heightened emotions make these people feel alive and involved. Despite often living in chaos, underneath it all they long for safety and peace.

3. The Cool Cucumber
This is the antithesis of the emoter. The cucumber is cool, calm and collected, and therefore usually threatened by excessive show of emotion. Excessive, by this one’s definition, might be defined as evident. Feelings are considered as distortions of reality. At least they are viewed that way because they feel threatening. This mental type solves problems, and sees and keeps order. Everything needs to be practical. There is a typical ‘evenness’ about their life, avoiding extremes.
The cool cucumber has difficulty with intimacy and therefore cannot enter into deep feeling relationships.

4. The Sceptic
This type, too, has difficulty with relationships, although they want a loving relationship. The problem is not lack of feeling, but scepticism or negativity about commitment and love. They also have difficulty expressing their emotions and tend to be more mental. There often was an emotional experience earlier in their life which they would attribute to making them sceptics. This experience likely would be portrayed as a betrayal.
They have a sense of humour based on negative perception that frequently focuses on themselves, and invariably is cynical, ironic or pessimistic. They tend to be loners but they can often be fun to be with.

5. The Workaholic
We know this type well in modern society. It is the one who likes to work and likes to make things happen. The motivation is not for attention, but usually for the satisfaction from doing a good or complete job. This type is always busy doing something, but does not necessarily prioritize things according to other people’s ideas of what is important. In fact, so busy doing things, one can lose one’s own sense of priorities.
Relationships may suffer because of the focus on accomplishing and doing. Sharing one’s feelings is very low in terms of priority, patience and interest.

6. The Perfectionist
Anything worth doing is worth doing well (perfectly), according to the perfectionist. They like to put and keep things in order, including people. In the extreme, nothing is good enough as it is, including oneself. There is always something that needs to be perfected or improved, including oneself. There is always a yearning for ‘could be’, and difficulty in accepting just what is. Often there is lack of flexibility, including in the way of relating to others.
They often feel betrayed in relationships. They are hard on themselves and others. There is often a nagging discontent, even depression, because nothing seems to ever match the elusive ideals. They do have perseverance, will power and strength. ‘If things were perfect, then safety would be assured and all would be well.’

7. The Fantasizer
This romantic type is good natured and easy going. Everything is great, and hope springs eternal. They are emotional and imaginative. They are good salespeople and promoters. They dream of how things will always be better, but often lack the perseverance needed to manifest those dreams.
Relationships are often seen through rose-coloured glasses so they can be devastated when a relationship ends, not having seen the writing on the wall.
Fantasizers typically deceive themselves, especially when they want a different reality than the one presented to them.

8. The Controller
The controller is in charge, including being in charge of one’s own life. Competent and confident, the controller sees the bigger picture and places oneself in it. Their controlling is not so that they can be right, although they rationalize that there is a right way to do everything. The issue, however, seems to be to feel secure by staying in control.
The controller has clear and determined ideas of how things should be, and should be done. They don’t want to be kept in the dark about anything as that would make them lose control over that aspect of life – be that about things or relationships.
Most controllers have some very attractive quality or qualities that attract people to them.
The issues of a controller include power, authority, anger and trust.

9. The People Pleaser
These are highly sensitive, emotional types. They nurture, empathize, cooperate, help, support, listen and give comfort. They often give more importance to another’s point of view than to their own. They often put themselves down, feeling that they are not good enough. They have trouble refusing others’ requests. They are also indecisive, afraid of making mistakes or disappointing others.
Although they are really looking for love, they find it hard to receive it in terms of attention, compliments and gifts because of their typically low self esteem. The unconscious motivation for pleasing others is to get love.

It may be difficult for us to determine by ourselves which personality type best describes us individually for the purpose of becoming conscious of our specific personality traits so you may wish to take a personality type quiz that will give you more objective results. For this you may avail of the free personality type quiz at the Enneagram website.
For a deeper study of personality types and how this can help you identify and heal wounds to experience more peace, love, truth, beauty, goodness and abundance in your life you may access the E-Book On How To Heal The Personality by Andrew Schneider by clicking on the link in the box below.