I was only 22 years old when I got married. We started out as the typical middle class couple with each of us working and nothing much in terms of savings or inherited wealth or great financial gifts from rich parents. In fact I still had to help support my younger siblings through school because my father died when I was only 16 years old, leaving my widowed mother with parcels of inherited property which she sold little by little for a song because we were eight children in the family and there were still four younger ones to sustain and support through schooling. My mother had no other means of earning because she had been a fulltime housewife and mother and completely dependent on my father for financial support. Life insurance agents were not much around then as they are now and besides even if they would have convinced my father to secure a policy, the probability it would have lapsed was high considering that always there didn’t seem to be enough money to go around. I guess in a way, my husband and I were fortunate in that we were both working when we got married. But we immediately had a child so there was not much time to save so we begun to set up house with just an empty apartment without furniture and a borrowed bed. We ate our meals on the stairway because we still couldn’t afford a dining table. But two income earners proved financially powerful and despite having a child every year for the first three years of marriage we were able to fully furnish our rented apartment in just a very short span of time as we both prospered in our respective careers especially my husband who moved up very fast and quick in the corporate ladder of a well known food and beverage conglomerate. So we could afford to send our three children to good reputable schools and provide a typical middle class lifestyle with good food, clothing and other perks including a company provided car for our family use. But the pay-off for each one of us having our own respective full-time careers was that the children were left mostly to yayas. Fortunately, I had good reliable household help and yayas then who took good care of my children as they were growing up and after more than 10 years renting an apartment we moved to our very own house in a typical middle class subdivision south of Makati. We both continued to prosper and earn more in our respective careers and so the good life continued and a fourth child was born twelve years age difference from my youngest. The eldest and youngest were boys and the two in between were the girls.
But the problem was there was no MoneySense magazine then nor was there a group of financial planners like what we have now under the umbrella of the Register Financial Planners of the Philippines (RFP) who could have provided the guidance and tutoring and perhaps even help us develop the discipline to give priority to savings and investment and reduce spending to the basic minimum. Our life insurance coverage was very minimal. But life was good so we went our merry way living a good comfortable middle-average class lifestyle. Then the crisis struck. My husband lost his high-paying job due to a major business takeover of the food and beverage company giant he worked with and he found himself jobless. By this time the children were already in third, second and first year college and the youngest child was five years old. So we experienced a financial crash though it was not sudden. My husband tried to get into business but it failed after six years of operation and all our meager savings was wiped out. Then to survive we had to sell our assets. First to go were the cars, then the house and everything else. We had to move back to Makati and rent the apartment that my husband used for his failed business venture. Since the business was a printing business the black soot of the printing ink was still evident on the walls – a far cry indeed from what the family had enjoyed in the house in the subdivision. But more than the financial loss what was more difficult to deal with was the erosion of the self-confidence of every member of the family, the fear that the children would no longer be able to finish their college education and the emotional turmoil of having to contend with a husband who could not take the crisis and went into depression, anger, self-hate and completely and totally just withdrew from his responsibilities as the main breadwinner. This was my situation at age 41 with four children, three in college in the best schools in the country and one in kindergarten and a devastated and broken man for a husband and I didn’t even have a job because when times were good, I left my job for a sales job as an insurance agent that paid me commissions so I could spend more time with my children during their adolescent years, perhaps to compensate for the time I missed being with them in their earlier childhood years when my husband and I had to maintain our two jobs. So if you were in my situation what would you have done?
Thank GOD for the Filipino extended family support tradition. My two elder sisters helped me with the tuition fees of my children so they could continue to study in the same prestigious schools they were used to. My five year old was enrolled in a Chinese school to avail of the good academic training but without the cost of the more well-known schools. Then a good friend and townmate who was already holding the position of President in a life insurance company offered me a full-time job, with a good pay and a good starting position as an officer of the company. And slowly, little by little, I picked up the pieces but my husband remained broken. He continued to wallow in victimization and self-pity and completely allowed himself to deteriorate, physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. The analogy that could best describe my situation then (1989) was that my family was like a ship that got shipwrecked. I had to swim to shore with four kids on my back and I didn’t know how to swim and my husband was trying to pull us all down with him to drown. But by the grace of GOD , I persevered. Now I know why the crisis had to happen. It was for me to turn to GOD and experience his love. Perhaps during the years of plenty, I had not thought much of being close to GOD and in his love for me he allowed a crisis situation to happen in my life for me to learn lessons from and to come to him in love and humility and surrender my life to his care totally and completely. But of course the transformation came about slowly, little by little, one day at a time. GOD usually sends angels (real life people) to guide and help us during crisis situations. HE never leaves us alone. Indeed it was a very humbling experience.
Solo now, by myself, I returned to a full-time job at age 41 and it was good paying. But still it was not enough to support three children in college and one in elementary with me providing for all of our everyday living expenses without any single centavo contribution from my husband because he continued to stay down in the dumps. So I had a good friend, a businesswoman who got me as her business partner in the food business and other business transactions where we could earn extra money to augment my salary in my full-time job. This, plus the help of my sisters got me through those four crucial years that my three older children had to finish their college education. Then after they graduated, one at a time, and each one got a job and was able to support their own needs, then I turned to buying a house again. How I did it was by the grace of GOD. The house was a foreclosed property being offered by my company to us employees and it was at a very good price. Now I understand why its important to take risks in investment. I just had to take the risk. Close my eyes and be very courageous. Fear engulfed me because buying a property as huge as a residential house, all by myself, even if my three older children were already graduated from college, I still had to send my youngest child through school and he was by then in high school and I would have to still send him to college. Even with my business income augmenting my salary as an employee, it would still be a challenge. I could not really ask the help of my three children because their income was just enough to meet their individual needs and the fact that I didn’t have to worry about supporting them anymore was already a very big help. But it was a golden opportunity of a lifetime. One that should not be discarded because to do so would be folly and yet in my situation wasn’t it folly to do so? But my having become more spiritual has imbued in me faith and trust in Divine providence. Experiencing GOD’s love has also made me more courageous and able to overcome fear which can be overwhelming if I just had to deal with it without GOD’s help. So I took the plunge, I bought the house. I thank GOD I did. The amount that went to paying for the amortization was the equivalent of the amount I would have paid renting. Though it was again in the Southern part of Makati, still it was nearer than our first house. But the house is bigger and better built than the house we had before. And after a few years of adjustment, I bought a family car. When my youngest child (son) went to college I was able to send him to a prestigious exclusive college. I had a house. I had a car. My three older children were on their own, with jobs, independent and self-supporting but I still was not able to save because by then I had to let go the business ventures that I went into partnership with my friend to focus fulltime in my corporate job. My husband has never fully recovered or gone back to earn a living. My youngest son took a second course in college as a compromise to my not being able to afford anymore to send him to medical school and this decision may not have been a wise decision on my part because as a result I incurred debts to maintain the house, the car, the second college education and without the extra income from business. But my son finally graduated from his second course last year and got a good paying job in June 2009 and is finally on his own, independent and self-supporting.
I have completed twenty (20) years service in my corporate job. I retired Dec. 31, 2010. I am now 63 years old. Upon receiving my retirement benefits I paid and cleaned up all my debts. I am now debt free. I have a fully paid for house, a fully paid for old car (not much really in terms of material wealth). But I have four children, all graduated from college (the youngest with two college degrees) and earning on their own. I am in the process of completing my certification as a Registered Financial Planner so I can serve others. I have set up counselling and training services for personal growth and development of soul consciousness. I am also in the process of completing my certification as Soul Counsellor. I have learned that its not so much about the amount of money that one has that matters but its about building character, values, qualities, virtues. Its about connecting to soul-spirit and being aligned with Universal and Divine Laws. Its also about being kind and loving to oneself as well as to others. Its about being true and authentic in living one’s life. Its the practice of unconditional love and acceptance. Its finding one’s true life purpose and commit to serve others.
My money story is about FAMILY, GOD and LOVE. This is TRUE WEALTH.
